Hi Everyone! Welcome to Sunrise!

This is my FanFiction of, what could happen in Renesmee Carlie Cullen's life. If you can, I would apriciate your FeedBack. Remember to read down and up!

mandag den 11. januar 2010

PART 10:...or just more drama

As we were sitting there, making out, my cell phone rang.

I sighed, when we pulled away. What was the problem this time?

"Nessie?" Alice said, when I picked it up.

"Yeah, whats up?" I asked her.

"No, nothing. It´s just... Well, I saw, that we are getting guests tonight." she explained.

"Who?" I asked her.

"Nahuel and his sister, Helena." Alice told me. I sighed.



"And this is my problem, because..."

"No, it's nothing! I just thought you should know, thats all." Alice said. But still, she sounded worried.

"Okay." I just said. "See you later!" I said, before hanging up.

Jacob smiled to me, when he asked;

"What did she want?"

"Just telling me, that Nahuel is coming." I told him. "And his sister, Helena." I added. He sighed.

"More vampires."

I took his face between my hands, and kissed him gently.

"We are not supposed to worry about that." I murmured, before I kissed him again.

And this time, not so gently.


It was about 4.00 am, that we headed our way back to the house. Jacob drove me. When we parked outside, I didn't smell my parents. They were probably somewhere. It was dark inside.

"Can I ask for a goodnight kiss?" I asked him.

He leaned towards me, and kissed me gently on the mouth. I laid my arms around his neck, as the kiss grew more passionate. In that moment, everything else was useless, pointless. I just wanted him. As close to me, as physically possible.

He smelled good. His breath felt warm in my mouth. His hands went from my back, down to my waist ...

But, of course, I could feel my parents scent at that moment. I groaned, as we pulled away. He sighed.

I also smelled two new scents. Blood. This had to be Nahuel and Helena.

We stood out of the car. My parents appeared from the woods, and right after them were my entire vampire family, and our guests. I smiled friendly.

"Nessie!" Nahuel yelled, when he hugged me.

"Hey, Nahuel!" I said. It was so good, seeing him again, after all of these years.

Helena came slowly towards me. She had long, silver blond hair, and beautiful, ice blue eyes. There was something different about her scent. I went over to her, and shock her hand.

"Hi. I'm Renesmee." I said, smiling.

"I'm Helena." she answered in a very low voice.

I looked back at Jacob. He looked shocked. When Helena scented him, she gasped.

"Shape shifter?" she asked.

Jacob nodded, and asked her "Shape shifter from Alaska?"

She smiled.

"Half Alaskan-shape shifter." she answered. Now, I also noticed that familliar scent.

"Oh. Are you a shape shifter?" my mom said, surprised. Dad just smiled.

I guess, he already caught that, from Helena's thoughts.

There was something about the way, Jacob looked at her, that uncomforted me.

Sorry, it's short!

This is Helena:

PART 9: My happy ending...

Alice was everywhere at the same time. She had been in Port Angeles, to by me about 20 sets of clothes. Then there was the make-up. And the endless row of shoes. Then she and Rosalie played stylists with me. Alice did the make-up, and Rose did the hair. Then they picked some clothes out, for me, and at last, they dressed me. The whole process took about five hours.
"Now, you can look!" Alice was exited to see the look on my face.
I turned around, and looked in the mirror. I saw myself, wearing a deep blue dress, right over the knee, black leggings, and a black leather jacket. My hair was shiny, and curly, and i had natural make-up. I was also wearing black shoes, and some colorful accessories. Retro and modern at the same time.
"Its awesome. Thanks, guys!" I gave them both a big hug.
"Yeah, well Jacob is going to be here in two minutes, so it was kind of last moment." Rosalie told me.
I heard the car outside. Jacob was picking Seth and Leah up, and then he was coming for me. We couldn't run, because there would be humans at the party. Everybody from my class was invited, as a favor from Claire. I ran down the stairs, and said bye to my mom. I just waved to my dad, he was still mad at me, because of the party. And he still wanted to talk to Jake. I growled, when i came out. My good mood was gone.
"Hey Ness! The present!" Alice yelled from the window. She threw the present, and i cached it, and waved up to her. Then i got into the car, still feeling mad, but it was better, now that Jacob was here.
"Whats wrong?" he asked me.
"My dad is just being a mental." i said. then we drove down to the reservation.
"By the way," Jake said, while we drove. "how did you get your dads permission? I thought you said, he didn't want you to go."
"Well, i told him, that i do what i want."
"The truth is always the best." he said.
I wanted to change the subject. "Any Wolfe-drama?" I asked.
"Oh, yeah!" Seth said. "Jake isn't happy for the mind reading now."
"Seth!" Jacob commanded. It was weird, seeing Seth getting smaller. It was a alfa-order. "Sorry." he mumbled, though, he didn't seem sorry.
"Why, what happened?" I was curious.
"Jake got a bit mad, when we found out," Leah explained. "but he cant keep it away. I mean, he isn't thinking of anything else." She smiled to me. Jake growled.
"You know, that's actually really sweet." I told Jacob, while we parked outside the hall.
"I told him, that i think so to, but he is to embarrassed." Leah said. Jacob blushed of my comment.
We went outside, and crossed the lot. We heard music from inside, and someone was screaming. drinking game, perhaps. There were about 80 guests at the party, and could smell all the different blood-smells. I recognized Vera's weird smell, Carols, Jason's... And then there was the wolfs. Their blood didn't smell nice. But i didn't hate the smell, like the rest of my family.
"Now, lets tjek out the bomb!" Seth said, when he opened the door.
Lights everywhere, people all around, and Quil and Claire, on stage. Quil was DJ, again. The music was totally loud.
"Gosh! This is an exploded bomb!" I yelled.
Then we all danced, drank, and laughed. This party was going to be epic. Leah was surrounded by a herd of boys. At firs, the boys looked at me. Someone even dared to flirt. But then they realized, that Jacob was my boyfriend (ill never get used to that), and that he was kind of big and scary. So they went over to Leah instead. But they still glanced at me, and when they did, Jacob got busy, kissing me.
Then, it was time for me, to get on stage. I had planned, what i would sing.
(Reenesmes playlist for Claire's birthday)
"GOOD NIGHT, LA PUSH!!!" I screamed in the microphone, when i finished. I jumped of the stage, and landed like a feather in Jacobs arms. He was so warm, and i was tired.
"Okay, everybody. Party games!" Claire yelled. "My geeky friend will give an extra number afterwards!"
"Hey!" i yelled to her.
Everyone went over to the east end of the hall, to a little Seven Minutes In Heaven-box.
"Now, i guess you all know the rules?" Emily asked. "Great, then our birthday kid will be the first one, in the box"
Claire giggled, while she went into the box.
"That one?" Emily asked.
"Nope!" Claire answered.
"That one?"
"Sure, why not?" Claire giggled again.
"Okay, you there, go in!" She commanded Jason. Poor guy.
"Iiiiih! You're one of Nessie's friends!" She giggled.
Jason whispered "Yeah, and your boyfriend is kind of big, so is it okay, if i dint kiss you?" He asked.
"Wow! You actually thought, that i would kiss you?" She said. "Well, you re wrooong!" And then i heard a bump, and Jason came out, with the hands between his legs. Claire kicked him!
"Ill never eat any of those balls." I joked. Everyone, except Jason, laughed.
The game went on. Emily kissed Sam in the box, and Vera kissed Paul. Embry didn't kiss anyone. He just stared at Vera, but i was to spinning, to figure that out.
"All right, Ness! That one?" Emily asked me, when i was finally in the box.
I smelled, which one, who was pulsing. I smelled and heard Lewis pulse beat. No way. "No!" I answered.
"That one?"
I heard Jake's pulse beat a little bit faster, so i chosed him. "Yes!" I said.
Jacob came into the box. He almost didn't fit in there.
"Hi." he whispered.
"Hello." I whispered back, before i crushed my lips to his. I felt his breath, his tongue in my mouth, and mine in his. His hands were brushing trough my long, curled hair, and i had my hands wrapped around his neck. I pressed my body against his...
"Okay, you two! Times up!" I heard Emily say. Jake let go. I sighed, when we went out. Carol was next to go into the box.
Suddenly, Jacob took my hand, and we ran across the hall, outside.
"They wont notice." He said, while we ran.
Suddenly, we were at an old tree. It was big, and clumsy. Jake took me on his back, and climbed up to the tree top. There was a huge branch, where he easily sat down, and put me on his lap.
"Wow!" I said. This was amazing. I could see the stars on the black sky. It was beautiful.
"You know what? I don't see the stars anymore." He said. "Because they are all silly an useless, when i have you." He kissed me, soft, but still passionate.
"I love you, Jacob Black." I whispered.
"And i love you, Reenesme Cullen." He whispered back.
He crushed his lips against mine, and this time, it wasn't just seven minutes in heaven.

AUTHORS NOTE: This isn't the end. Wait for more!
You know you love me ;D!

PART 8: Limit

We walked down to the beach. It was covered with a beautiful snow blanket. Jacob sat down on the old fallen tree, and i sat down next to him. Silence. I started to murmur a old song, which name, i didn't remember.
"Well," Jake said.
"Eh..." I was confused. "I was kind of hoping, that you would start."
"Funny, i hoped for the same thing." He said.
"So... What now?" I asked.
"Good question." He answered.
An awkward moment of silence.
"Should we do anything? Can we go on, with just being friends? Or should we stop being friends, or..." He cut me of.
"Nessie, i dint think, that we can be just friends again." He said.
"Somehow, i already knew that."
"So what are we, Nessie?"
"Well, I'm the Runaway-Kisser, and you re the guy i kissed." I answered.
He smiled. "You know, that doesn't help?"
"I know. But its funny!" I smiled back.
We laughed for a moment. Then there was more silence.
"Its not me, but you." He finally said. It started snowing. "I imprinted on you, Ness. Ill be everything, you want me to. But i will always love you like this. At first, i was your older brother, then your best friend. And now, i can be this. But only, if you want me to."
"Wait, back! Did you say, you loved me?" I said, loudly.
"No, i didn't!"
"Oh, yes you did!"
"All right." He gave up.
I smiled. I had always thought, that people overreacted, when someone said "I love you" to them. But it wasn't overreacting. It was nice. No, great, to feel, to hear those words.
"So," He said. "Are we crossing the limit?"
"Is there a limit?" I asked.
He looked at me. His brown eyes burning. And then i knew, that i couldn't deny this feeling. I loved him.
"No." I whispered, answering my own question.
His face was close to mine. I could feel his breath.
"So, I'm allowed to do this now?" He smiled, before he kissed me.
"You know, I'm staying this time." I told him.
"I know." He said, before we kissed again.

I felt the happiness. It was overwhelming.
After the kiss (or kisses) we went back to the hall, and helped fixing the last things. I wasn't sure what to wear. I had bunches of clothes, so it shouldn't be difficult, i thought, while i was driving home. When i came to the big white house, i knew that something was going on.
"Mom! Dad! Jazz!" I yelled "Anyone home?"
"Nessie." It was my dad. It was hard to control my thoughts.
"I know everything, so stop waisting your time." He said, with a cold tone.
"Well, then is there anything to talk about?" I asked.
"Yes." he answered "Sit down."
I sat down, on one of the white couches. He started walking.
"First, its your mom. She needs to know." He said. "And second, be gentle when you tell her. We thought this wouldn't happen for another two years, or so.
And third. I need to talk to Jacob about certain things."
"Dad, i can take care of my self! I'm sixteen, for gods sake!" I was mad.
"I dint care!" He almost yelled. "I am your father. And your mother deserves to know!" He was angry now.
"You don't have to talk to him, dad! Its embarrassing!"
"I repeat: I DON'T CARE!" He yelled now.
"Well, NEITHER DO I!" I yelled back.
"Then, you re not allowed to go to the party tomorrow!"
"You think, you can stop me?!"
"YES, I DO!"
"What the hell is going on here?" It was my aunt Alice. "Are you getting mental?"
"@#¤&%!" i mumbled.
"Nessie! Who learns you these words!" My mom said.
"My father!" I said, before i ran up the stairs.
I smacked my door, and fell down on my bed. I screamed in a big, fluffy pink pillow. I heard my dad and mom downstairs, having a small argument.
"Shes a teenager. They do things like this." My mom said.
"Well, she is a bit extreme." My dad was still angry.
"Edward, why do you want to speak to Jacob?" My mom asked, softly. I imagined her, wrapping her arms around my dad.
He sighed. "You will have to ask her about that." He told her.
A few minutes later, my mom was in my room. She was wearing a old t-shirt, and old, blue jeans.
"Tour dad told me everything, sweetie." She smiled friendly.
"How great!" I sighed.
"Baby, we knew this would happen. We just didn't know, that it was going to be this soon. It is kind of a chock, really." She smiled. "We just want you to be happy. Jacob is a good person. He can take care of you, and i trust him."
"But dad docent." I concluded.
"No, not really. Not when its you. You re his little pumpkin, remember? Hes just overreacting."
"So he wont talk to Jake?" I asked, hopeful.
"Sorry, but hes insisting."
"Mom, you're a shame for all women in the world, do you know that?"
"Yes, i do." She said. "But now, get some sleep. Long day tomorrow. Alice wont let you out of sight for at least five houres." She smiled. "Goodnight, Baby." She kissed me, on the forehead.
"Night, mommy." I mumbled, before i fell into deep, dreamless sleep.

søndag den 10. januar 2010

PART 7: Kiss and tell

I couldn't sleep. There was to much thinking to do. So i took it all at once.
Jacob Black wasn't my best friend anymore. He was... My boyfriend? My lover? I seriously didn't know.
My dad knew, i was sure about that. But he did not say anything when i got home. He hadn't told my mom, because she wouldn't be able to shut up about it. Only me, my dad, and Jacob knew. Great.
I rolled over in my huge round bed, and cuddled myself into the red bed stuff. I was tired, sure, but i just couldn't sleep. I had to think of something less important. Like school tomorrow. Our last school day and then three blessed weeks of Christmas-holiday. And then, Saturday, Claire's birthday party. I was helping her after school tomorrow. Leah would be there to, and then we could figure out some geeky party game like Seven Minutes In Heaven, or Kiss and tell, Truth or Consequences. Whatever. All those games had kisses and romance... Which is bringing us back to Jacob... Grrr!
I parked at my usual spot, on the school parking lot, getting my usual greetings by my usual friends. I went to History, where i sat next to the funny smelling girl, Vera. She had colored her hair blond, with one, big, pink highlight. But she still looked cool.
"Hi!" I said, when i sat down next to her.
"Hey." She said, casual and cool, as usual. Everything here was so usual.
Mrs. Hudson, our history teacher, was talking about world war 1. Everybody giggled, because she looked like she had been there herself. Or maybe she was a dinosaur! Even Vera laughed.
I sat down at our usual lunch table. It wasn't full day today, but Jason, Carol, and Vera still sat at my table every day. At the table there were also Hailey, George, Kate and Lewis. Full set.
"Have you guys heard about this huge party down at La Push?" Hailey asked. She loved gossip, and she knew, that i was up to date with the La Push-events.
"Yeah, someones birthday." Carol agreed.
"Do you know anything?" Hailey asked me.
"Yes. Its my friend, Claire's birthday." I answered.
"Could you get us in?" Jason asked.
"I don't know how big it is going to be. But ill try." I answered.
"Okay." Jason smiled his I-Like-You-smile. Yuk!
The rest of the day went slow. Biology. Gym. Art. But then, the bell rang.
Finally! I almost ran over to my car on, across the lot. When i came closer, i noticed that Jason was standing next to my car. What did he want?
"Hi, Jason!" I said "Whats up?"
"I wanted to ask you about something..." He started. My mom said, that every time a sentence begins with that, you better run away.
"Ask me what?" I should have listened to my mom.
"If you wanted to hang out sometime... You know, see a movie, eat and stuff." He looked hopeful
"Like a date?" I asked.
"Like a date." He answered. Jerk.
"Ehm..." I suddenly thought, like a reflex, that i couldn't do that to Jake. I quickly found another excuse. I didn't like Jason like that.
"Sorry, but I'm totally booked. Maybe some other time." I smiled friendly, and then jumped into my car, before he could say a word.
I saw some of the students, in a huge snowball-fight. Maybe Jake would send me a washer. When i thought of what happened last night...
I remembered it, while i drove down to La Push to help Claire with her birthday party. After the second kiss, we just stared at each other. And then i said "Eh... I have to go now." And then i just ran home. Pathetic. I was a total lunatic, a mental. How do you just run, after a kiss?
I drove to the La Push hall. It was more like a big gym. When i came in, i saw, that there were white walls, old wood floor, and four huge windows. Two toilets, and a second room. There was also a kitchen included. And the best part! A stage, with a guitar, drums, bas, and piano.
"Hi, Ness!" Claire screamed across the hall. She ran towards me, and gave me a big hug.
"Did you bring your guitar?" She asked.
"Yep." I answered, and saw Quil an Jacob building some kind of... Thing.
"Hey guys, Nessie is here!" Claire yelled across the hall.
"Cool!" Quil said. Jake sent me a more careful look.
"Hi Jake." I said.
"Hi." He looked at me. Confused, but glad.
I sent him a thought; We need to talk about it.
"Right now?" He said.
Claire pulled in my arm. Later. I thought to him. He smiled his winner-smile.
"Come on, try the gear." She said "You are our best singer." She begged.
"All right." I sighed, an jumped up to the stage. I grabbed my guitar, and Claire turned the microphone on.
"123." I counted. "Okay, it works. And now I'm singing. ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?!" I screamed, like a real musician would do it.
"YEAH!" Claire, Quil, and Jake screamed. Then i started with my new wrote song. Hot.
"WUHUUU!!!" They screamed, when i was done.
"Good night La Push!" I yelled, and turned of the microphone. Suddenly, the doors opened, and in came Seth, Sam, Emily, and Leah.
"We heard the noise." Sam smiled.
"You re great, Ness!" Seth said, smiling.
"Thanks." I said, and jumped of the stage.
"Come on, girls. We have a lot of work to do!" Claire commanded. "And boys. Help Jake and Quil!"
The girls sat down at one of the about ten tables. They were little and round, and close to the minibar.
"Cool." Leah said, pretty unimpressed.
"Yes, i know!" Claire said. "And you can get everything from the minibar!"
"Alcohol?" I asked.
"Everything." Claire smiled.
"Now," Emily started "We need some kind of schedule, or a list. Leah, give me the paper..." She continued.
They talked and talked and talked... It was endless. I glanced over to the boys. Seth and Sam were wearing old jeans and old t-shirts. Jacob and Quil were wearing just old jeans. It was very distracting.
"...and party games!" Claire finished her long speech.
"Hey, Ness you re good at games! Give us some ideas!" Emily suggested.
"Oh!" I looked at them, and then i remembered the games i had thought of this morning. "I was thinking, that we could play Seven Minutes In Heaven, or Truth Or Consequences?"
"That's great! I like Seven Minutes In Heaven. TOC sounds cool to." Claire said.
"Aren't there any games without kissing and cuddling?" Leah asked. She looked frustrated.
"Or Kiss an Tell?" I ignored Leah.
"That's our games!" Emily wrote them on her party list.
"I need some fresh air." I said to them "Ill be back in a minute!" I promised, and then i flew outside. I stared at Jacob through the door, sending him a thought.
We need to talk now!
He looked at me. I looked back, with big, round, puppy-begging eyes.
He stood up, and came out to me. "Okay, we can talk now." He almost whispered.
Authors note: Hope you liked it! Keep waiting for more! Please follow!

tirsdag den 5. januar 2010

PART 6: Winther wake-up

I woke up. It smelled funny, and there was more light, than usual. I jumped up, and rushed to the window. Over the forest, there was a white sky, and the earth was covered of fine, white snow. It was beautiful. Somewhere, i heard children screaming, and also some adults. December is a happy time. And Christmas time. I loved Christmas. Gifts, candles, trees, red, and Claire's birthday. A happy month. And the snow is so amazing. So pure an clean, pure magic!
I thought of Jacob. He loved the snow too, but he probably wouldn't enjoy it together with me.
Jake had been suffering. He loved his father, and now he was gone. At first, he just ran around in the forest, and he worked for a whole pack. Then he got depressed. And he still was. He sat, and kept on staring at the wheelchair. I wanted him to move it, but i couldn't talk to him. He was dead inside when i wasn't there. My mom had been in La Push yesterday, trying to talk to him. But it didn't really work. She told me, that he was just a zombie. But when i was there, he could even smile, and sometimes laugh. I was his medicine. But that was over now!
I decided to talk to him. He couldn't go on like this. I had been down at La Push every single day, but it didn't work. I had to do something serious about this issue. But not my special issue. Not now.
I ran down the stairs, finding my mom and Alice in the living room, watching TV.
"Morning!" I said.
"Good morning sweetheart. Is there anything wrong?" My mom asked me.
"No, why should there?" I answered.
"Oh, no reason. You just look upset." My mom was worried.
"Oh!" I said. "Well, I'm going to get some breakfast!"
"Are you going to La Push today?" My mom asked.
"Yeah, why?"
"Watch after the road, okay?"
"Mom, I'm not stupid." I told her.
"Yeah Bella chill." Alice said.
I went into the kitchen to get some food. Yum, cereal! I thought. I ate my bowl of cereal, and washed it. Then i went back into the living room.
"Are you going now?" Alice asked. My mom wasn't in the room.
"Yes, i guess i am. Wheres mom?" I asked her.
"She is catching up with your dad and Jasper. You know how nervous she can get when its Edward." She smiled. "I'm going to get them now, so ill see you later. And i know its just overreacting, but Bella will kill me, if i don't tell you to be careful on the road today."
And then she was gone.
Well, better go now. And ill watch after the road. I thought to myself.

I ran inside. it was really snowing now. Outside Jake's house stood the old rabbit, covered with snow. The little house and car, was actually beautiful, when it was covered with snow. I smelled other people. I recognized them, as Quil and Claire.
"Look hos here!" Quil said, when i opened the door.
Jacob and Quil were sitting in the couch. Jake looked miserable, and the wheelchair was still there. Like Billy would call for Jacobs help, and Jake would lift him in the chair. It still smelled of Billy.
Jake's eyes lightened, when he saw me. "Nessie." He almost whispered. It hurt me to see him suffer. He was so good and kind. Why him? Why not me? I loved him so much. He was mine.
"Hey, are you all right?" I asked him.
"Yeah sure." He said. But i knew, he was lying.
Quil smiled and said "Well, we have a lot of planning to do. Or Claire has. I'm just going to make De Le Puff-what-ever-its-called-things." He laughed.
"Oh my god! Its your birthday-party!" I almost forgot.
"Yes. Huge party at the La Push-hall." She smiled a big winner-smile. I gave her a hug.
"When is the bomb exploding?" I asked her, when we let go.
"Great! Count me in! I could help you planning it!"
"Cool." She said "Leah is helping me too."
"All right, see you tomorrow then." I said.
"yes, see you!" Quil said, and then they were gone.
I went over to the couch, and sat down next to Jacob. He looked so sad.
"I hate seeing you suffer." I whispered. He looked at me. "Its just... It hits me too Jake." I said "Were like one person."
"I'm sorry." He almost whispered.
"Have you seen the snow." I looked out the window. "Its just like magic."
He looked at me. His brown eyes were intense. It inspired me.
"Do you have paper and a pencil?" I asked. He just looked at me, weird.
"Yes, but why?" He asked.
"I need to write my song ideas dawn. (The song Reenesme is writing to Jakob, is Avril Lavignes Innocence, which i think is perfect for this moment. Watch link.)
"A song idea?" He asked.
"Yep!" I smiled.
He went over to the kitchen-area, and then came back with some paper and a yellow pencil.
I started to write. He watched me, patient, waiting for me to finish. His eyes followed every movement i made, every word i wrote.
"Done!" I said.
"Done? Just like that?" He looked confused.
"Well, whats it about?" He asked.
"Well... Actually, its about you." I smiled to him. "Just listen." I almost whispered. And then i started to sing.
"Wow." He said, when was done.
"Ehm..." I felt awkward. "Did you like it?" I finally asked. I felt like a complete idiot.
"Oh, eh... yeah." Guess he felt the same way.
Then the minutes passed by. Silence. Total Silence.
"Jake." I whispered.
And then i knew, that there isn't a perfect moment. It would never be the right time to tell him. So i just had to do it. Now.
"Do you remember Embrys party?" I asked. His face went white.
"Yes." He finally said.
"When i came looking for you in the forest?" I asked again.
"Yes, you were upset." He answered.
"I was about to tell you something very important." I told him. "And then Sue called, and... Its just been a mess i my head. Finding the right time to tell you." I looked at him. My eyes were burning. "But its never the right time, so..." I took a deep breath "I am going to show you." I whispered, and then took his hands in mine.
I remembered the dreams. Every thought. Everything. His eyes weren't moving. He focused. My heart started beating. We sat so close together, that i could feel his breath. I could see his pumping heart. I lost focus, and the memories disappeared.
His eyes started moving again, but they rested on my face. My eyes were barred in his. His face was so close. My heart almost exploded in my chest.
His face was close enough for me to taste his breath. So warm.
And then he kissed me.
Soft, but still with every feeling he had for me. I kissed back. My heart was jumping now. I loved him, but not in the same way as for three months ago. I loved him like this.
The kiss felt like, it had lasted for ever. But it was actually just a few seconds. He let go, and looked me deeply in the eyes.
"I will be everything, that you want me to." he whispered.
I put my arms around his neck. "I want you to be this." i whispered, and then we kissed again

mandag den 4. januar 2010

PART 5: Time passes by

There are so many ways, to break a heart. Firs there is the physical. Punching, stabbing, jumping, overeating... So many ways. But phsycical, there are even more options. Dead. Lost. Lust. Love. Regret. Anger.... It continiues. You can break a heart with one, simple word. You can take away a whole existence, with just one word. No, Never. Ever. Leave. Shut. Die... So many options. But to get the ultimal effects, take away the thing, that the person loves most. Love is a mighty weapon.

fredag den 1. januar 2010

PART 4: Party all night...Until you get a heartattack

"Wow!,, I gasped. This was the biggest party, or the most crowded party ever! I looked at the banner again, and thought about Embrys middleagecrises. Oh well, you cant always get what you wanted.
I planned to tell Jacob tonight. And i was nervous! How could i have been nervous over schoolstart, when this was right around the corner? And again i thought: Shit!
"Whats wrong, Ness?,, Leah Clearwater asked. I didnt know, why or how we were friends, but we were.
"Nothing,, i told her "Just middleagecrises. Come on, lets go in.,, She smiled, when we went inside. Leah was this kind of exotic beuty, you know, long bleck hair, big black eyes, amazing bronze-skim. It actually mached my hair!
there was about seventy people in the little house. They were all wolves plus me, Kim, Claire and Sarah. There were discolights, a dj (Quil), and kareoke-singing. I loved singing, and maybe that was hov i could tell Jake! With singing! Genius idea, if you ask me.
The room smelled. And it was not nice. But then i saw Jake, and my heart took the highroad. He stood alone over at the snacktable.
"Hi, Jake!,, i smiled happy-smile to him.
"Oh my god! How can yoy do this, Ness youre wierd. Or a total freak!,, Leah told me. We had been dancing for about two and a half hour now, and honestly, my legs hurt. A little bit.
"Noo, really? I had no idea!,, I said.
"And why this mental drinking. Truth, are you an alchoholic?,,
"Not the last time i checked.,, I had been drinking, so that i could get some guts to tell Jake. But now i didnt see him.
"Hey, wheres Jake!,, i asked her.
"Now idea! I think he went outside or something!,, she yelled to me. The music was pretty loud.
"Ill go find him!,, i told her. And good adwice: do not drink that much. It dosent help, your just getting more nervous.
I went outside to look for him. It was beutiful. The moon, the stars...And the wind blew my hair away from my face. My dream!
And you dont have the guts to tell, that your in love your best friend! I thgouht. Never think in these sitioations!
"Jacob!,, i yelled. "Jaaake...,,
"Im here!,, He yelled.
I followed the sound, out to the river. The Quileute-River ran through the forest. It smelled nice. Like wood...And Jacob. The leefs had went of the trees, and something wasnt right.
"Hi, Jumpy!,, I smiled.
"Hey, what is going on, Ness?,, He asked. Heartrace...
"Well, i need to talk to you about somethin really important, so...,, My organs cramped when i saw his curious face. "Well, its us. Or You. No, its me...God, i dont know how to say this...,, I took a deep brath. "I am...,,
Suddenly, his cellphone rang. And here we go again; shit!
"Just a sec.,, he said before he picked up the phone. "Hey, its Jacob!,, He said. And then, his face changed. His eyes got bigger, and his mouth went open.
"What? No...,, He gasped for air. Like he was going to cry. "Yes...Youll take him to the hospital. And the chances...What?,, He looked sick. Yes, ill be there. "What did the doctor say?,, Oh, god! A doctor is never good news. I looked at him. He was worried. Was it Billy?
"Yes, thanks Sue. Youll go get Charlie? All right. What about Bella and Edward? Yes, shes here. Ill bring her...Thanks again Sue. Yeah, bye.,, He looked at me.
"What is wrong? Is it Billy? Or Charlie? Or...,, I couldnt breathe.
"Its my dad...,, Jacob looked so serious, like he was to a funural. "Sue Clearwater foun him, sitting in his wheelchair. But he wasnt breathing...,,
"Oh my god! Did he get a heartattack? Oh no...,, Not Billy! He was so kind and he was Jakes dad and everything, and...!
"Nessie, we have to go to the hospital!,, He took my hand, and we started running.
The trees flew away, and then we went into Jakes old Rabbit, and drove to the hospital. Jacob looked like a ghost.
"Are you all right?,, I asked, while we drive.
"Well, my father just got a heartattack, and he could die every minute. But exept from that, im fine!,, He said. He sounded upset.
"Well, it kind of messed everything up, so...!,, I sighed. I could not tell him now.
"Nessie?,, He asked.
"What was it, that you wanted to tell me? I mean, you seemed pretty upset?,,
"Its no big deal. Really.,, I said, when i saw his look. "And now isnt the time.,, I told him, but he still gave me the look. "Hey, youre dad is going to be fine Jake. I mean, Billy cant die. Hes strong, he will make it!,, I took his hand. Heartrace. "I promise.,,
"I am just freaked out right now...Look, theres Sue an Charlie!,,
We parked, and went over to them. Charlie looked like a zombie.
"Hes going to make it, right,?,, Jacob asked Charlie.
"Well, Billy is a strong man. Hell be all right.,, Charlie did not look to good.
"Dont worry, grandpa. I am sure, Billy is fine., I told him.
"We shouldnt stand out here. Let us go inside.,, Sue said "Your parents are there allready.,,
"Shit!,, I didnt think of my fathers mind-reading. Shit!
"Nessie?,, Charlie asked. "Are you all right?,,
No! My dad is going to know, that i have serious feelings for a warewolfe. And not anywho, but Jacob! "No, im fine.,, I told him.
When we were inside, my mom hugged me and said "Oh, its good youre all right!,, And my dad told us that the right doctor, was to far away.
"I will get him, when he comes over here.,, He said.
"I just cant believe this happened to Billy! He is such a great human!,, My mom was worried.
"He will be fine Bella...,, My dad told her. He hated seeing her unhappy.
I felt useless. My dad gave me the stare. I started talking to him in my mind.
Dad, you knew this would come...!
"Nessie, i just didnt know, that it woul be this soon, thats all.,,
Come on dad! I know that you are upset.
"Its youre choice. If it will make you happy.,,
"Thanks dad!,, I said out loud, and then i hugged him.
"What is that all about?,, Mom asked.
Dad, dont tell her! I will, when the time is right.
He nodded towards me, and said to her "Nessie will tell you, when time is allowing it.,, He smiled her favorite smile.
"All right then., She sighed.
Same thing wih Jake, dad?
"Okay.,, He smiled.
We waited for hours. When there had been three hours passing by, and it was 11pm,, i couldnt take anymore.
"I need coffee!,, I told them. "Ill be in the cafeteria if you need me.,,
I stood up, and walked to the cafeteria. White. Grey. Blue. Black. White. Grey... Get some colour in your life! Everything in here was one of those colours. It wasnt very pretty. Not at all. It could have been funny, but it just wasnt. Suddenly, i heard footsteps behind me.
"Hey, Ness!,, It was jake. Just Jake. Sorry, no, the man that i loved, my sun, my gras... Got it now!
"Hey!,, I smiled up to him. "Want some coffee?,, I asked, when we went into the white cafeteria. Blue furniture. Veeery funny.
"Yeah, sure.,, He smiled back. Heartrace...! "Sit, then ill get it. Do yu want something? Doughnut, bagel...?"
"Just coffee." I told him. And a kiss! Who was i? Marilyn Mnroe?
"Ill hurry!" He said, and then he hurried to the coffee machine. Then he came back, with a chocolate bagel and two cups of coffee.
"For you." He said to me, and gave me the plate with the bagel. "You cant not be hungry."
"You know me to well!" I loved chocolate bagels. My favorite human food. I took a bite, and drank some coffee. "Arent you hungry?" I asked him.
"Nah, not really." He answered. "What did you and youre dad talk about earlier?" He asked.
"Nothing important!" I said to loud.
"Really;" He was suspitious.
"Yes, really." I told him.
I finished my bagel, and we drank our coffee in silence. Suddenly, Sue was there.
"They have news!" She gasped.
We ran through the hallway, and back to the ugly blue-chair-place we sat in before.
A old doctor waited for us. My fathers face was not telling anything.
"You must be the young mr. Black?" He asked Jacob.
"Jacob." Jake told him.
"And you are the adorable ms. Cullen." He smiled to me "A pleasure to meet you."
"Thank you." I said. "Is there good news?"
"Oh yes, the old mr. Black!" He was serious now. "Mr. Black was old, and his heart was...tired. I am afraid, that he did not survive the treatment. I am very sorry."
"Wh...What?" Jacobs eyes were wet. "My dad is de...dead? He cant be...He cant...be dead. He is my father! There must be something...He cant be..." Tears were running down from his eyes. I started crying to.
I put my arms around him. It hurt me so much, to see him suffer. It made me suffer, and feel his pain rush through my own vanes. "Im so sorry, Jake!" I whispered.
"Why, why the h*** did i leave him. It is all my fault..." He blamed himself.
"No, it isnt, Jake! Youre a good person!" I whispered. "And i love you just as you are!"
Yes, i really love you.

PART 3: Okay, hes not just Jake! Happy?

We were in the old garage, handmade by Jacob Black himself. Jacob took two sodas from the minifridge in the corner. There was dirty in the garage, but thats how i liked it.
"Here, Stinky!,, he said, smiling.
"Thanks, Jumpy.,, He smiled at me. His smile was warm, and the worst part is, that it made my heart speed up. Why, lord, Why? Why was this so difficult. He was just Jake! I looked at him. He gave me his worried look.
"Im fine jake. Relax.,, Didnt seem to work.
"Sure?,, he asked "Because your mom will kill me, if your just this unhappy!..
"Jake, sadness and unhappyness are two diffrent things.,, i told him (again) "When your sad its like Oh-No-I-Hit-A-Rabbit-kind of feeling. Unhappyness is more like, if your mother dies or something like that. Or if i died, what would you say then?,, i asked.
"That wouldnt be unhappyness. It would be insanity. Or suecidal.,, Heartrace heartrace...
"Uh, your dramatic.,, i said "Im feeling the goosebumps.,,
"Sure!,, he said, when he started working with some small wierd things.
Why did i feel this way? He was Jacob. Nothing more, nothing less. But why did i feel warm when i saw him. Saw his face, his eyes. And his smell. He smelled like dog, and i liked that smell. And now, when i heard his voice, i didnt feel the same as this same morning. Then it had just been Hey Bud! But now...It was just so diffrent.
But he was just Jake! Exacly! He was just Jake. Now he was...Jacob. But what is the diffrence? What is the diffrence? I thought while i stared at him.
"What?,, he asked. Ups!
"Sorry. I must stop thinking while im staring at people,,, Shit!
"Yeah, i guess.,, He looked at my face. "But...Whats the difrence of what?,,
I looked at him again. "Well, just a guy from school.,, Jason could help me out here.
His eyes were jist stripes now. Was he jalous? (Heartrace) "What guy?,,
"Oh, its just Jason. He looks just like Hugh Grant, and i cant see any diffrence! Creepy, ha?,,
"Creepy.,, he said, and i think he mumbled "Hmf, Hugh Grant!,,
Suddenly someone opened the door.
"Hey guys!,, It was Embry, Quil, and Seth from Jakes pack.
"Hey marshmallows!,, Jacob said "Guess what! Nessie knows a guy who looks like Hugh Grant!,,
"Awesome!,, Seth said. And then he dumpet himself on the floor. Embry and Quil mumbled "Kid.,, At the same time. Embry turned to me.
"Hey, youre coming to the party tomorrow, right?,, he asked, hopefull.
"Yeah, the middleagecrises-party! Sure, ill be there!,, I smiled friendly.
"Cool.,, he said, and then he turned to Quil.
It was nice, sitting here with the guys. But it had to end. My mom called, and told me, that Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, and Emmet were coming. And Emmet had a hilarious joke to tell me. Alice told me, that it was the funniest joke ever (She saw it coming with her special gift. She saw the future) and i had to hear it myself!
I ran after my car, and drove home, after a "See You" from Jake.
It was fun having everyone in the house again. I ate, and Carlisle talked about their bad hunting in New York. Emmet told us the joke and it was funny. So funny, that i cried of laughing.

This night i dreamed about the same stuff, butt something had changed.
The eyes an smell, were closer now. I felt his nose against my chin, his breth in my ear...
And then, i knew who it was! The smell, the darkbrown eyes...I felt his lips on mine. It felt like he had waited so long for me...And in that moment i knew, that i loved this person.
And i also realized that Jake was not just Jake!

PART 2: Hes just Jake

"Mom, i can drive myself, okay?,, I stood in the garage with my mom, dad and aunt Alice. My mother had insisted of driving me to school. "Mom, why did you even let me get a license, if you wont let me drive...,, i asked. I was frustrated. "Because i want to see that place again, and...,, Alice cut her off "Why Bella? The building is not that historic.,, She looked at my mom. My dad sighed and said "Bella, everyone will stare at you.,, My mom looked thoughtfull, and then she said "All right, you get what you want, again.,, I sighed of relief, and opened the door on my babyblue Porsche. "Wait!,, my mom said "You tell me all about it, deal?,, She smiled, and i sighed. "Yes, mom, and bye!,, I slammed the door, and turned the stereo on. "Shit!,, Alice changed my violin-cd out, with some girly pop-thing. "Sorry sorry sorry...,, she yelled, while i changed cd. "Alice.,, Jasper sighed. "What? What is wrong with my music?,, She looked at him, like he had commited a serious crime. "See you later little one!,, he said, when i drove away. Just because i was smaller than he was, and a vampire hybrid, didnt mean he could call me that.
While i drove, i thoght about vampires. I was a vampire-hybrid, a half vampire etc. I could show people what i thought about, and nothing could stop me. When i was younger, i had to touch people, to show them what i was thinking. But now i just had to stare at them.
My thoughts went to the wolves, and, speaking of the sun, my cell rang.
"Hi, its Reenesme.,, i said, while i looked at the highroad. "Wow, were formal today. Whats the occation?,, It was Jacob, my best friend, who happened to be a warewolfe. "Oh, its you., i said, reliefed that it wasnt my uncle Emmet. He called sometimes, just so that he could tell me some new joke or something. "Who else? Well, Embry asked, if i could ask you to the party friday night. sooo...what do you say?,,
"Sure ill be there. What is he having a party for, anyway?,, i asked. "Ask him, he is having middleagecrises or something like that. Oh almost forgot it, your start in school today!,, I laughed"Well, your lucky you did.,, I said. "Nervous?,,he asked. "Pretty. And what if they wont like me?,, I could hear him laugh. "Well, the guys will!,, he said. I could see the school now. "Yeah, but hey Jake, ill see you later.,,I said "Okay, see you!,,
And then i drove in to the school parking lot

"Here you go ms. Cullen.,, The school sekretary gave me at least fifteen books, a map over the school, and my leg muscles cramped. "Thanks mrs...,, I looked at her desk sign "Mrs. Klark.,,
"Oh, it is my job, dear.,,
It wa not a problem to find the classrooms. But it was harder thing to find friends.
Noone had spoke to me, and i did not have any lunchdate either.
I went in to the cafeteria alone. There was no empty table. At least, i just had to eat, if there was anything i liked on the menu. I was more of a blood drinker, but i liked some human food.
I looked at the menu. And there it was. Chocolate muffins and pizza. And i was kind of hungry so there wasnt much to do.
The cafeteria was light, with white walls, and big windows. There were so many smells here, so it was very confusing. But i liked it.
As i had feared, all the tables were almost full. The table,next to the window on the left, had just three persons sitting around it, so i went over there.
"Excuse me.,, i said. They all looked up. There were two girls and one boy. The boy looked like Hugh Grant in a disturbing and wierd way. The girl on the left had darkblond hair, green eyes, and red glasses. She looked smart. The girl on the right had long black hair, and big brown eyes. If she stopped using that much mascara, she would have been pretty.
"Ehm...,, i started
"Yeah, what?,, the guy asked.
"Could i sit with you guys?,,
"The guy looked at me. And i guessed he was used to pretty girls? Jackass.
"What is your name?,, He asked.
"Reenesme Cullen. And you?,,
"Just sit down,, the boy said. I actually wanted to kill him now.
I sat down. Then i noticed a smell. A diffrent smell. There was blood, but still...
"I am Jason. And this is Carol and Vera.,, I looked at them once moore. The smell came from the blackhaird girl, named Vera.
"Im Carol.,, the darkblond girl said. "I have heard about you.,, she smiled.
"It seems to me, that you dont sit tigether in daily life. Am i right?,, I saw Jasons eyes gettin bigger. I only flirted with him, to get some answers (And because it was fun). And i was always good at it.
"No.,, he said, still under my spell. He shock his head "Ehm, now. Today is just full day.,, he said, smiling.
"And shoud i know what that means?,, i asked.
Vera sighed "It means, that everyne is in school today.,, She had a rough husky voice. Almost like Jasons.
Then they started talking about the school paper, the school teams and other school stuff.
Carol was nice, Vera was nice too, but still cooler than Carol. Jason was flirty. Carol told me, that he had once had four girlfriends at the same time.
Thank good, the day was over. I went out to my car whn i saw Jacob and his motorcykle.
"Yum, who is he?,, a girl named Hailey asked.
"Its Jake.,, i told her.
"Your boyfriend?,, she asked.
"No!,, i said "Hes just Jake.,,
"Hey, Ness!,, Jake yelled.
"Ill see you guys later!,, i said laudly, while i ran over to Jacob. As soon as i had jumped on the motorcycle, we drove away, down to La Push, the Quiluete reservation.
Then we stopped in front of his house. His father, Billy Black sat in his wheelchair.
"Hey kids!,, He smiled when we came in.
"So whats the plan today, mylady?,, Jake asked.
Suddenly ifelt the smell, and i saw his darkbrown eyes. And my heart beated faster than usual.
Wasnt he just Jake?

PART 1: Why the...!

It was dark. The brown eyes stared at me. I did not see his face, just the eyes. The wind blev the long, broze-coulered hair away from my own brown eyes. I didnt know where i was...But i knew these eyes, this smell...
"Ness, wake up!,, My mon. Of course. How else can wake you up like this. "Reenesme Carlie Cullen!,, she yelled now "NEEE...,, she started screaming. "SHUT UP!,, i screamed back. Suddenly she was there, with the overwelming speed this life had given her. My mother was beutiful. even in her humen life, she had been pretty.
"Up and go Ness. First day in Forks High School!,, She smiled. "I can drive you and maybe see some of the kids and...,, she looked at me. I loved my mother, but right now i just wanted her to get out of my room! She saw my look, and said "Okay, okay. ìll go now. And wear something nice for a change.,, she looked at me with begging eyes. "And that is coming from you?,, i asked. My mom had looong darkbrown hair, and the usual golden eyes, and she had funny lips. "All right, ill see you downstairs in three minuts.,, and then she was gone. Downstairs i heard my dads voice "Bella, dont wake her up like that! It is allmost traumatic.,, My mom laughed and said "You always gave me a shock before, dont you remember?,, And then they both laughed.
We lived in the big white house, known as The Cullen-house. I had the little room, with the great windows. It had white walls and a great round beed. I was the only one in this family that slept.
I was sixteen, or not really. I stopped aging seven years ago. But still.
My parents and uncle Jasper and aunt Alice, lived in the house. My grandparents, Carlisle and Esme, lived with uncle Emmet an aunt Rosalie in New York in the winter, and then they moved to Vanouver, Canada at spring, and stayed there for the summer.
My mom and dad decided to move back to "For Charlies sake" my mom said. Charlie was my human grandfather. I had never seen my human grandmother. She lived some place in Florida. Well, now i was supposed to go to school in Forks. How fun. It is October, and middle of the semester. I repeat: How fun.